I fell for you under the big window,
Our two desks isolated in the floating sunlight.
You looked at me sideways, a slanted smile
And I was giddy, sneaking glances
At your handwriting.
And when we stood to leave you hurried out
I wondered what was sprouting from those
Pink earbuds.
One morning I compressed that ball of butterfly bones
In my gut, crunched them into courage
I asked you to wait up.
You did.

We went to brunch with your roommate
I tried my best to be myself
You had no idea that I was a freshman.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.

You gave me your number
I had to ask
Looking up at you on the steps.

I asked you to dinner.
You politely brushed me off
Like a fleck of mascara
From your perfectly pierced nose.
When you said some other time,
I thought you meant it.

I keep your vowels safe at the top of my contacts list,
Northern and cold and beautiful,
Just in case you meant it –

Because in another dimension somewhere,
Lateral and synchronized,
You’re wearing my big gray sweatpants
And we’re playing The Price is Right
And I haven’t told you I love you yet because
I’m a little afraid to lose all that I’ve gleaned
And I’m writing a poem far different from this one
But with the same title.

I dreamed we were hunting lions
in a tiny valley, with dying shrubbery
and drying puddles

and after we bagged four or five
a sudden truce was called as
two spiny lizards fought, as it seemed,
to the death.

They interlocked, they fit
they changed shapes and colors
always symmetrical
shifting and morphing violent-fast.

We stood oohing and aahing
at the liquid firework display on the ground before us,
perhaps trying to kill each other, perhaps making love.

and I had a notion that something
with a big and bloody mane was crouching
atop a hill behind us, eyes glued to this,
the most terribly beautiful exchange I could dream of,
through the space above our clasped hands.

The Rain

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I only wish she

had kissed me

as if we

were in love